Kaldheim Set Review - Red
Jamie will be rating the cards on a scale of 1 to 10 for limited play. Melvin is just being Melvin.
Other Colors
Arni Brokenbrow
Jamie: 7/10 3/3 haste for 3 plus could be nice late game as a "surprise, you lose!" with the boast
Melvin: Hi, it’s me, Arni, and this is what’s going on. About five years ago I fell through a dimensional portal behind a Burger King into the mystical, magic land of Kaldheim, where I upload a podcast every week….
axgard cavalry
Jamie: 5/10 bear with upside seems fine
Melvin: Not sure if this card will be the goat in limited.
basalt ravager
Jamie: 6/10 giant tribal will love this
Melvin: If you get your creature count high enough, this is basically a flame-tongue kavu. That’ll sure make your opponents salty.
birgi, god of storytelling
Jamie: 7/10 a lot going on here... double boast could be cool, extra mana is nice, and the horn, while expensive is some nice card advantage in red
Melvin: Is there a story so long even a god can’t tell all of it?
breakneck berserker
Jamie: 5/10 3/2 with upside is a-okay
Melvin: You’ll never know if his neck is broken with a beard that long.
calamity bearer
Jamie: 7/10 giant tribal payoff card! this could get out of control quickly if not dealt with swiftly
Melvin: When the bearer of bad news is the bad news.
cinderheart giant
Jamie: 6/10 expensive but its a removal spell attached to a big bod for 7 mana. I'm into it as a top end for giant tribal
Melvin: “Heartburn Giant” didn’t have the same ring as a card name.
craven hulk
Jamie: 6/10 good stats and probs want to be attacking anyways
Melvin: Pity the poor person who gets this monster accidently in there goat yoga class. Also, if you aren’t familiar with goat yoga, please go look up goat yoga.
crush the weak
Jamie: 7/10 the foretell makes this scary good... can set up for a board wipe mayhaps
Melvin: I’m more likely to Crush the Candy.
demon bolt
Jamie: 9/10 kills most things and with foretell... I'm taking this over prretty much anything in draft
Melvin: I think I had a lemon bolt once, but I think Gatorade stopped making that flavor.
doomskar titan
Jamie: 7/10 most likely wont be able to afford other creatures when you play this, but still a 5/4 haste for turn plus team pump is a great top end card
Melvin: Skar Titans, Go!
dragonkin berserker
Jamie: 7/10 will be able to get a 5/5 for 5 on turn 5, if able to equip or give evasion this card is a straight up bomb
Melvin: This card has the potential to churn out dragons faster than Christopher Paolini.
dual strike
Jamie: 7/10 this legit scares me with foretell... going to be a blowout many times
Melvin: Wait, so I can’t get Uber Eats or Grub Hub right now?
dwarven hammer
Jamie: 6/10 not super thrilled with the 5/1 trample creature this makes... too tiny of a butt... but this will be nice on evasive creatures
Melvin: Whenever you cast this please say “Stop! Hammer time!” Thank you.
dwarven reinforcements
Jamie: 5/10 fine stats for 4 mana but not super exciting
Melvin: Hey, sometimes it’s small help or no help.
fearless liberator
Jamie: 5/10 probably going to die when it attacks since its so tiny, but giving evasion would be exciting
Melvin: This guy is what you get when you combine Santa Claus and Assassin’s Creed.
fearless pup
Jamie: 10/10 for CUTENESS OMG. but actually... 5/10 the activation is pricey but should get through a bunch of stuff, exciting if equipped
Melvin: Soon to be a Disney full length feature.
frenzied raider
Jamie: 7/10 boast tribal wants this... and I LOVE 2 drops that scale up while the game goes long
Melvin: Why do I keep typing “raid er”? I always seem to want to put a space in raider.
frost bite
Jamie: 6/10... 8/10 with heavy snow... the price is right on this removal spell
Melvin: Frost trolls can have a little Leidurr, as a treat.
goldspan dragon
Jamie: 8/10 big chonking flying haste is an easy choice!
Melvin: Crossing that could be the definition of a bridge too far.
hagi mob
Jamie: 5/10 big enough body to attack well and get use out of boast
Melvin: This is what it looks like when Hall H lets out.
immersturm raider
Jamie: 4/10 2/1 for 2 with rummage effect is just ok, unless you are looking to cheat stuff into the graveyard
Melvin: These raiders are way more grumpy since they moved to Las Vegas.
magda, brazen outlaw
Jamie: 6/10 dwarf tribal! it's a bit tiny and fragile for my liking though, so getting to search might be tough
Melvin: Is she doing the Captain Morgan pose on the back of a dragon? 10/10.
open the omenpaths
Jamie: 4/10 unless you are super desperate for fixing, the first part of the card seems unplayable. and the second part is not very exciting for 3 mana
Melvin: A terrible Magic card, but you knew that when you saw that Tibalt was on it.
provoke the trolls
Jamie: 7/10 could buff a big chonker for the win! I like the flexibility of this card... 3 damage to any target is nice too
Melvin: I do this by mispronouncing words on the podcast.
quakebringer
Jamie: 8/10 big body shocking opponent every turn... even from the graveyard! Shouldn't be too hard to draft some Giant friends.
Melvin: I’d make a reference to “Quake” the video game, but it came out in 1996 and people not getting it would just make me feel old.
reckless crew
Jamie: 4/10 this is going to be tough to make good... if you happen to draft 8 + vehicles and equipment spells this would be great. otherwise... not so much.
Melvin: That dwarf in the middle is living his best life.
run amok
Jamie: 5/10 I personally love effects like this... draft like 5 of these and you're opponent is gonna have a bad time. Fine combat trick since grants evasion.
Melvin: This describes when TJ is the imposter in Among Us.
rune of speed
Jamie: 5/10 replaces itself right away, but haste isn't really super desirable, unless late game on a big chonker.
Melvin: A good speed rune will get you through Super Mario Brothers 3 in about 20 minutes.
seize the spoils
Jamie: 4/10 i don't love that it's sorcery.. you are spending two cards to get two cards
Melvin: You should really steal fresh stuff before spoiled stuff.
shackles of treachery
Jamie: 4/10 expensive, the 2nd part of destroying equipment won't be relavant too often
Melvin: It’s Act of Treason and Unforge cuffed together on one card.
smashing success
Jamie: 4/10 sideboard card against heavy artifact decks or maybe 3 color decks
Melvin: Are they stepping on the glass already? Mazel Tov!
squash
Jamie: 7/10 awesome in giant tribal
Melvin: You butternut pass this card in draft, it’s going to be acorn-erstone in every red deck. Turn your opponents creatures into spaghetti with this instant, and most pump-kin spells won’t even save them.
tibalt’s trickery
Jamie: 5/10 red counter weird! but also, opponent still gets to cast another spell which may or not be worse for you.
Melvin: The greatest trick Tibalt ever pulled was convincing the story people at WotC to make him the main villain in this set.
toralf, god of fury
Jamie: 8/10 god strong, hammer might be more annoying.. unattaching and dealing 3 damage to any target is nasty
Melvin: Wake me up when the god of Furries gets here.
tormentor’s helm
Jamie: 5/10 cheap equipment, effect is fine
Melvin: Standard dress code at the IRS in the Audits department.
tundra fumarole
Jamie: 8/10 cheap removal
Melvin: With enough snow mana, this is less of a fumarole and more of a free roll.
tuskeri firewalker
Jamie: 6/10 that boast though!
Melvin: I was less impressed with firewalkers after I found out that those coals don’t really get that hot.
vault robber
Jamie: 5/10 fine in dwarf tribal, otherwise not super exciting
Melvin: I’m more of a refrigerator raider than a vault robber.
